In this issue
Don't Let Them Dance !
"The only way for you to prevent others from dancing on your grave is to refuse to die. GET UP and KEEP Moving—there is NOTHING that can stop you! " Sharon Allison-Ottey, MD
Quick Health Tip: Stinky Breath
Did you know that bad breath may mean major trouble? Persistent bad breath doesn’t mean you eat too many onions. Bad breath may be a sign of major gum disease. However, there are some diseases that can also cause bad breath such as cancer, tuberculosis, syphilis, dehydration and zinc deficiency. Some drugs can cause bad breath as well.
Get that bad breath checked for you and those that you breath on !
February 7, 2008: Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
Each year there is are national observances on a host of conditions/health concerns. One very important day of observance was on February 7, 2008. In my last newsletter, I highlighted World AIDS Day and challenged us all to not just focus on the day but rather to take action for the days, weeks and months to come.
I challenge us all to do the same, especially with Black HIV/AIDS Awareness. I must tell you that I was very disappointed with the lack of media coverage both in general and specialty (African American/minority) media outlets. Why are we not talking and doing more in OUR communities. Do we not know, do we not care or do we think that if we close our eyes that this disease will just go away?
According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), when we look at HIV/AIDS by race and ethnicity, we see that African Americans have:
*More illness. Even though African Americans account for about 13% of the US population, they account for about half of the people who get HIV and AIDS.
*Shorter survival times. Blacks with AIDS often don’t live as long as people of other races and ethnic groups with AIDS. This is due to the barriers mentioned above.
*More deaths. For African Americans and other blacks, HIV/AIDS is a leading cause of death.
I dedicate alot of my time, energy and resources to HIV/AIDS awareness. If you have purchased "All I Ever Did Was Love a Man", you have helped us to provide FREE testing and support for persons living with HIV/AIDS. As many of you know, all of my royalties from this book are directed to this effort-- you get a great novel/story and now THOUSANDS have been tested as a result of our efforts.
Did you know:
*63% of children with HIV/AIDS are Black
*41% of men with HIV/AIDS are Black
*64% of women with HIV/AIDS are Black
Yes, whether you know it or not, someone in YOUR family, YOUR friends, YOUR church member or YOUR coworker has HIV/AIDS and it could be you. I hope that we know that you can't tell by looking and if you have EVER had sex with another person you are at risk. In 2008 we still think of HIV/AIDS as a disease that only REALLY affects people that are "certain" people--- drug abusers, homosexuals, prostitutes or persons that are "loose". God made us all and this ignorance is killing us because HIV/AIDS can affect anyone including YOU!
Talk to your friends, children, family, church members, sorors, frat, and anyone that you know about HIV/AIDS. Have you been tested? Are you living with HIV/AIDS and are you living life to the fullest--despite your diagnosis. I am reminded of the movie (I'm telling my age)-- School Daze by Spike Lee. In the last scene, Laurence Fishburne comes out of the dorm and yells-- "WAKE UP!"
I am a voice in the wilderness--screaming for all to "WAKE UP and LIVE!" Join my voice and the voices of thousands of others that desire to see an end to the HIV/AIDS epidemic worldwide!
6 Commandments of Fitness from Personal Trainer/Boot Camp Leader: Laurie Byers
1 . First and foremost find some sort of exercise that you can enjoy. Don’t worry about how long or for how many days… just do it!
2. Consider eating 5-6 meals a day, this includes two to three snacks during the day. Most importantly, remember …moderation.
3. Drink as much water as you can with a goal is to have at least 8 glasses a day.
4. Take a multivitamin to help supplement your nutritional needs. Most of us are not getting sufficient nutrition solely from our food.
5. Get some rest / sleep! Try to sleep 8 hours, but at least rest for 8 hours to allow the body to recuperate.
6. Stretch … if you do nothing but reach down to touch your toes daily and reach with both hands over your head andbend from side to side … Stretch.
Semper Fi Fitness by WM Laurie M. Byers Phone: 703-200- 7827 Email: semperfifitness@iglide.net
Request a Press Pack or Appearance from Dr. Sharon
Visit the website, specifically the download section for flyers, bio and other information. Dr. Sharon speaks for corporations, churches, colleges & universities, community groups, conferences and other organizations.
Her topics range from motivational/inspirational, health, relationships and much more based on your needs. Her unique style grabs the audience, keeps them thinking and often laughing but certainly refreshed and encouraged. Dr. Sharon loves to visit bookclubs as her schedule allows and certainly when she's in the area. If you would like to invite Dr. Sharon to your event, visit the website and submit request. All requests will be promptly answered.
Is Dr. Sharon coming to your town? Check out the scheduled appearances section of the website which is updated daily.
Wisdom Nugget
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt
Acknowledgements
I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me and the people that He supernaturally places in my path.
Special appreciation and thanks to the phenonmenally gifted Rachelle Gould-Harris of Designs By Rachelle
www.designsbyrachelle.com. She is simply the BEST and is responsible for the newsletter and website layout/design.
All of my photographs, both in newsletter and the website, are by the talented Jacqueline Hicks of Fond Memories, www.jhicks2-fondmemories.com
Pass it on
If you know someone who may be interested in receiving this newsletter,
you can easily forward up to five copies
at once.
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February 8, 2008
Round 2: Are You Still Standing?
This is the second edition of this newsletter and you've worn me OUT! The questions and responses to my website and the first edition have been overwhelming and I LOVE IT! My life's mission is to connect with people, particularly women and to push us all forward to better lives: mind, body and soul! If you find this newsletter useful and interesting; PLEASE take the time to forward this to friends (see the "Pass it On" section at the bottom; it's easy to forward to five friends at once).
The pace, schedule and challenges of life is wearing me out BUT I'm still standing! What about YOU? We all have daily challenges both big and small; can you say that you're still standing ? I encourage you to take the punch if you must but shake it off and stand back up for another round!
Happy Valentine's Day! Give yourself a big hug and kiss from me and my staff. During this time for every minute that you plan, purchase or participate in showing your love and appreciation for that special someone in your life; I challenge you to take time to love on yourself! Take a few extra minutes to do something nice for yourself, appreciate YOU and take care of YOUR body!
My belief is truly that the more you love yourself, the more you're open to love others and everyone that you touch will be enriched. I do have a little "something" for you on my website to celebrate the season of love. Simply visit the website and make your request.
Update on "Is That Fried Chicken Wing Worth It?" --it is finally on its way to us and thus to you. There have been several mishaps with the printing and thus it has been redone three times; we've been assured that it will be in our hands in February and my office will quickly send out to all of you that have preordered. The book will be available at Amazon and other outlets in March--it's still not too late to preorder your autographed copy. Please check out the website for some "freebies" (tee shirts, etc...).
My website is a "living, breathing" site which is updated every few days. I invite you to visit frequently. I'm going to save your fingers----you can now get to my website with less typing www.drsharononline.com OR www.sharondeniseallisonottey.com either way both get you to me.
Keep Standing Tall and Strong!
Toodles Dr. Sharon
HOT TOPIC: Monster In Law
My Mother in Law is really a “MONSTER in Law”
Dear Dr. Sharon Allison-Ottey,
I’m a 37 year old woman, I've have been married for 6 years and we have two children. I love my husband but we have one area that is a major issue for us that has gotten worse. My mother in law is 67 years old and spent about 3 weeks with us during the holidays. It was been pure hell dealing with her; she the real “Monster in Law”.
She’s a nice lady to everyone else but I can never do enough, or do anything right. She criticizes my cooking, my weight, how I handle my children and on top of all of that –she bought everyone in the house Christmas gifts except for me. She even bought my best friend’s daughter a gift. This is the longest that she’s ever stayed with us but even when she’s come for a few days it has caused problems with my husband and me. She visits about three times a year and we go to see her maybe once or twice. However, last year I was fortunate to be able to come up with an excuse so that I didn't have to go to her house.
Dr. Sharon, I’m not exaggerating—this relationship is toxic! A few things have happened during her last visit in addition to the gift issue:
1. I cooked breakfast for everyone one morning before I went to work. I came home to find most of it in the refrigerator. My seven year old told me that his “Nana” had told them that while she was here they’d have good food because she’d cook.
2. She refused to let me wash her clothes with the rest of the family’s clothes. She told me that she didn’t like “dingy” clothes and that she’d wash her clothes and my husband’s while she was in town. She then asked my husband why he didn’t teach me how to wash.
3. She sent my husband’s ex-girlfriend a Christmas card and talked about her in front of me. She emphasized how well she was doing, how they seemed like the perfect couple, and kept talking about her perfect figure and beauty.
This is just what happens when she is in town and the list goes on. However, I can tell you that I rarely speak to her when she calls and she usually calls when she knows that I’m not home or calls my husband on his cell phone. I’ve talked to my husband about his mother on several occasions and he always brushes it off. He always defends her and in the end says that he shouldn’t have to choose between me and his mother. He constantly says that I am making too much out of this and that he loves me, he chose me and that his life is with me. When I challenge him on the specific actions, he defends her to the death. For instance, he even made excuses for the Christmas gift incident; he talked to her and told me that it was an honest mistake. His mother told him that she’d forgotten to write my name on the gifts but that the gifts were meant for both of us. Dr. Sharon
it was male cologne and a scarf; how can that be for both of us? I’m tired of arguing and trying to make my husband stand up for me. We’ve had shouting matches and I’ve sent him to the couch (in our bedroom) for several nights.
In every other way, our relationship is good but his mother is driving a wedge between us. When I talk to her she denies any bad feelings and then goes to my husband crying saying that I don’t like her. My husband does have a brother but he is not married so I don’t have any sister in law to befriend. What on earth can I do?
Daughter in law to the “Real Monster in Law”; Phoenix, Arizona
Dear Daughter in Law,
( TO FIND OUT MY ANSWER-- visit www. drsharononline.com) Send in your questions; I do answer them all and may just post your question!
Shout Out: Sankofa Circle Bookclub
I was invited to the Sankofa Circle Bookclub's meeting in Charlotte, North Carolina. It was a icy night in North Carolina on January 19th but we had a BLAST! It was a great discussion on relationships, self esteem, sexuality and oh yes-- we talked about the novel; "All I Ever Did Was Love a Man". There were 20 plus of us there including my mother who actually joined in the discussion with a few tips! We were hosted by the beautiful and eloquent Rita Josiah whom I have known for years!
To the ladies of the Sankofa Circle Bookclub, I send a shout out of Thanks! I love coming to bookclubs, church groups, sororities and schools that read the book-- don't forget there is a reading guide on my website. I will also call into your bookclub/event if I cannot attend. We like to send "goodies" to bookclubs and groups that are reading my books-- please email me and let me know. If your bookclub has pictures; send them in; you could get a Shout Out!
Why Do People Leave?
In life there are entrances and exits of people, literally on a daily basis. Lovers, friends, family and just people which are nameless that enters and leaves your life on a daily basis. For the most part we are unaffected—the FedEx delivery guy that gets a new route, a new mail handler in your office, a new aerobics instructor, and the list goes on. However, there are some people that make an entrance whether grandiose or quiet and make a mark in your life that cannot be easily forgotten. They may stay in your life for just an hour but when they leave you miss their presence. We have all had the experience of meeting a familiar stranger… one that you chat with at the airport and find an instant connection. You may exchange numbers/cards but truly know that you will never meet again—but you cherish the time.
There are others who are in your life for days, weeks, months, years, decades and they become part of your very soul’s fabric. When they leave it’s often as if your very heart is ripping as they walk away. We all experience the loss of a husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend or even close friend and this heartbreak is not welcomed but often times accepted after hours, days and even years of healing. However, what about the long-term employee that is more like a family member, what about the best friend that walks away, how do we feel when our family member disowns us and cuts the lines of communication? Why do people leave both physically and emotionally? How do we cope and accept the rejection? How do we allow ourselves to open our hearts for the next person that shall enter?
I believe that each exit is an opportunity for pruning and refinement. There is something in every relationship that teaches you about yourself, your values and your ability to stretch. The exits are the gateway to another entry and in this ever changing life; you must welcome the new visitors to your soul, taste the new experiences and take the challenge of opening up to a new person/relationship. If you don’t dare to open your heart, you can never fully experience life. Be wise, be careful and yes be open to the new experiences that await you which were only made possible by the exit of another.
"All I Ever Did Was Love a Man" AUDIO BOOK AVAILABLE NOW!
I'm so very excited to let you know that my novel, "All I Ever Did was Love a Man" is now an audiobook! Yes, you can vist the website at www. recordedbooks.com and you can purchase or rent the audiobook. (Click on the picture fo the book and it should take you to the website as well).
By the way, for you that are members of a bookclub, reading group, church, sorority or other organization that desire a copy of the Intro DVD (about 9-12 minutes) that has scenes depicted from the novel as well as a discussion with "regular folks" at a dinner party; email my office and we will be happy to send it out to you FREE! Just ask for the free introductory DVD. (www.drsharononline.com)
The Presidential Primaries
On Super Tuesday my husband and I went to the grocery store to get snacks for our "Super Tuesday Bowl". I must say that I did "glimpse" at the Super Bowl but wasn't enthusiastic because the BEST team in the NFL was NOT in it! I'm a loyal Dallas Cowboy fan through and through-- Do NOT send me any emails-- I don't want to hear it--I'm still in mourning !
Anyway, what is more exciting than football and really has a bigger impact on this nation and the world is this Presidential election. I'm not going to put which candidate I'm supporting in this email (but will be happy to have a quick one on one with you via email and/or phone-- I'm sure that I can convince you to vote for my candidate!). However, I do encourage us all to vote and to be active. If you do support a candidate try to support their campaign with time, energy and a few dollars. I came across this website: www.votechooser.com which asks 10 simple questions and tells you which candidate you should vote for based on your answers. I'm happy to report that my candidate and I line up 100% and I will gladly cast my vote on February 12th in the great state of Maryland.
In a few days I'll once again trek to the grocery store for snacks to watch the results of the Potomac Primary (Maryland, DC and Virginia). I'll also jump on the treadmill to burn off those calories--who knew that the intensity of politics could put weight on you? Is it worth it---NO (inside joke for my readers).
How Will YOU Vote? Dr. Sharon's "Presidential Election":
Let's have our own election, please email us at drsharon@sharondeniseallisonottey.com the name of the person that you will vote for in the 2008 Presidential election. I will send out the results in the next newsletter or eblast. Just in case you've not been keeping up-- here are the candidates as of February 7, 2008:
Democrats: Hillary Rodham Clinton; Barack Obama
Republicans: John McCain; Mike Huckabee; Ron Paul; Duncan Hunter
Vote Now ! The polls close within 7 days !
"8 for 2008" THOUSANDS of you have joined me!!
In my first newsletter, I threw down the challenge to all of us to take on the "8 in 2008". The response has been TREMENDOUS, thousands of you have joined me! Let me know how you're doing and I challenge even more of us to join in taking care of YOU! It's worth printing again-- do you dare join me? How are you doing--- email me via my website drsharononline.com, I want to know!
Dr. Sharon's *8 in 2008*
As we begin the New Year, many of us will make resolutions that we know will be a memory by January 5th. This year, I want us to throw out that foolishness and just commit to "8 for 2008".
1. I WILL take 15 minutes in the morning just for me. I will take some deep breaths and clear my head without husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, child, parent, or anyone else hanging around.
2. I WILL schedule an appointment with my doctor for a full physical exam and I will be prepared to ask questions.
3. I WILL not let anyone speak negativity into my life. I will stay strong and positive and get rid of anyone that is not supportive of ME!
4. I WILL purpose to do something unexpected and good for someone else at least once month. I will not brag or broadcast my good deeds.
5. I WILL commit to trying my BEST to exercise at least three times a week, with the goal of making this part of my daily life.
6. I WILL commit to trying my BEST to kick my junk food, fried food, sodas, fatty/yummy desserts habit. I will limit myself to two small guilt free splurges a week ONLY if I keep my exercise goals.
7. I WILL spend time each day in prayer and meditation. I will thank God each day for allowing me to still breathe, be in my right mind and for the measure of health that He's given me. I will pray for others and for this world. I will seek Him first as I seek and work for better health and wholeness.
8. No matter what my weight, my physical appearance, my education, my income, my family background, my present state in life; I WILL tell myself each and every day that God loves ME, I love ME and I am wonderfully and phenonmenally made! I KNOW that I am a Queen/King and I will walk, talk and be treated like the royalty that I am.
If you will join me in committing to "8 in 2008", email me!
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